It’s been a while. I can tell that when I come to write down my thoughts and feelings its because that I can’t manage it well in real life. I thought that I’d be alright. I thought that I’m more able to move on but I got triggered and broke down from a simple “unfollowing” … More Long time no message, update on life
It’s so very cold here and I don’t have a working heatpump. I declined to do an extra Night shift as I’ve had a terribly set of shifts since I came back. Mentally draining and emotional heartbreaking as it’s….was a really unwell patient. 2 12 hour shifts is already too much. I had an anxiety … More Heatpump woes part 3
Yesterday was the first day of Winter for NZ. I haven’t made any great progress in sorting my heatpump woes and received an email from my landlady instead to resend the correct email to Heatpump service people of her correct email as they’ve sent her an email to the incorrect email address. How she had … More Heatpump woes chapter 2
Woke up today feeling meh and unmotivated. Winter in NZ really gives you the blues. I’m more depressed this year than last maybe because of several shocks that dealt me a critical hit to my metaphorical mental healthbar since February. I wondered about going back to work as I’m due back this Wednesday. I reflected … More Strange day and bland musings
I woke up wanting to be productive today but my bad habit of sleeping my worries away got to me. I admit now that my place is somewhat a mess. It works for me but probably not good for people to come visit.. I guess. I got lax and I let my work overrun me … More Neutral Day. Trying to declutter a desk…and my life.
I want to let you know that your condescension and arrogance is not amusing. It is plain terrible. I feel unsafe and incompetent when I’m with you. I’d like to let it out. If you were in front of me, I’m dreaming of putting you into place. But it’s hard. Terribly difficult. I often let … More This is just a written version of a glimpse of my ugly,overdue breakdown.
“I am an ordinary but ineffectual person indulging in daydreams of personal triumphs. ” It struck a cord in me. I was in a constant state of holistic fugue. I say this because whether it be physical, emotional and even spiritual. I am in this fugue. I wane and wax so much but it’s more.of … More I am one of the Walter Mitty’s in this vast world.
Late post is late. I’ve been procrastinating quite a lot on life. But nevertheless, to each their own. If I wanted to do it in my own pace, please do understand. On another note, I’ve been here for more than a year already in the Land of Silver Ferns. The majestic greenery,vast lands and gorgeous … More Latte: “A fluffy misconception of an otherwise concentrated bittersweet truth”a.k.a. Sleep is (not) for the weak. Epiphanies happen mostly after waking and being sober.
Late post is late. I mean 7+months late. So many things has happened. I don’t know how I’ll start. I’ll be stating just a nutshell of everything that has happened. And writing some posts that’ll be stating events in reverse. This is to prevent and manage an meltdown that was long overdue. It had … More Espresso: Concentrated shots to remind you of reality (in NZ)
Today, I met up with my Tarot friend/mentor/pseudo-therapist at my favorite cafe, Press Cafe in Rockwell for my final tarot reading from him (in maybe, months or years). Twas’ sad for I grew with him and the store. I had sessions with him back when I was still in High school. I had my … More Latte: Milky fluff-awakening to a new (visionary) beginning a.k.a. Till we see each other again to my Tarot mentor/friend
Coffee-flavored Fate 